Troy Smith

A good story about Troy Smith - OSU's quaterback and 2006 Heisman Trophy winner.

A risk-aversed kid

Ethan is wild kid. But he is also very risk-aversed.

We picked up a book on reptiles in U.S. from the library. Along with the descriptions of each species (turtle, snake or crocodillians), it also shows where those animals live within the U.S. Ethan would flip through the pages to find the species that have the word "caution" (aka dangerous) and zoomed into the maps. When he finds out somebody he knows is living close to where these animals live (especially Florida), he will want to warn them about these dangerous animals.

Ethan played soccer last fall. When we asked him whether he wanted to play again in spring or fall, he gladly said yes. That seemed strange considered he was not very good at it (he just had fun hanging out with other kids and be goofy in the middle of the soocer field). So I asked him why, and why not played something like hockey. His answer was: "hockey is dangerous. The pluck can fly to your head and hurt your eyes. But soccer is safe."


-RL-

Create your own universe

It's one of the craziest ideas out there. You've got to listen to it. One question: how do they get the funding?

Get you own universe here!

Family Pictures

Click on the picture to see more!

Lessons

Things have been going on quite well. Nothing too exciting but have been truly enjoying what God has been given to us - a wonderful wife and 2 fun kids, a lovely house , an encouraging church, a great lifegroup and a good job that pays well. Yes, there are difficult projects, nasty people and injustice at work. But I have to remind myself often in the morning that this is an imperfect world. And Jesus is going to fix it completely one day. Yeah!

The longer we wait on the job, the less the chance it will happen (naturally speaking). Last week I heard the all too familiar phrase of restructuring, which has been going on for quite some times. But this refining process has been good because God is stripping away the things that are distracting me from enjoying him alone. Human heart is extremely deceiving. Sometimes we think we can be the master of a thing but we only know who the true master is when that thing is removed from us. Just when I thought I could prioritize God over my work, I realized the opposite was true when I anxiously wanting to find out what happened to the job.

During the difficult time of waiting, I think I can do one of the 3 things: fight, resign or wait on God. I think most people are fighters. That's what the world has been training us since young. We have to work hard, grab the best opportunities, and be adaptable to changes. Never give up. I certainly has some of it but I don't think I am an aggressive fighter.

Naturally I am not a person who resigns easily either. Part of it is my optimism which i had until about 10 years ago. I guess reality sinks in around that time. I have to admit things don't always end with good endings. And sometimes when things go pretty bad and I know I can't fix them, I resign. I become discouraged, self-pitying, and discontent. And that spills over to my family too.

Really the hardest part is to wait on God. Not just waiting like we have no choice, unwillingly and resentfully, but willingly, hopefully and joyfully. That requires tremendous courage to say no to the things that are out of the boundary (but may not be wrong), faith to trust that God is taking care of us constantly, and humility to accept thankfully what God has given us to date. The words of faith, love and hope are not so theoretical anymore, but becoming part of my experience of knowing God.

Sometimes I think life cannot be so perfect, otherwise I will forget God. I am afraid to lose sight of him when I am out of trouble. I heard someone said, "it is a test of a person's character when he faces hardship. But it is a greater test when he enjoys prosperity."

-RL-

Happy Halloween - can I say that?

Don't know, but I took a stab (actually many stabs) at carving a pumpkin. It was fun but tiring since I used a very small knife.

Consumerism

I heard this commercial on a Christian radio channel yesterday.

Come and see what everybody's craving about ... a brand new Honda. You should act fast because the savings will be gone soon!

I felt a little bit uncomfortable when I heard this on a station that advertises itself as "safe for the family" and plays "positive hits". While it's true that all their songs are pop Christian, and DJs talk in a nice, clean and encouraging way, they clearly under-estimate the influence, power and reach of consumerism. The kind of advertising likes the one above, subtly tries to convince us that something else other Jesus is worth craving for, and pursuing with speed and passion. "Look and see what other people are driving. Of course you don't want to drive the beat-up, old car that is so embarrasing. And why wait? Just come and see. There is no harm. Get a loan, get a new car and be happy!" I will be really confused if I hear this message right after a teaching or song about "besides you, I desire nothing on earth".

Am I over-reacting?

(P.S. If you know which station it is, they welcome you to tell them what is appropriate.)

I have been listening to this station on and off for the past 10 years. They shifted their content from biblical teaching oriented and donor based to pop Christian songs oriented and mixed business/donor based. I guess the main reason is less and less people (and Christians) want to listen to heavy teachings. But songs are great! They are less likely to put you to sleep. And when funding is low, they need money from advertising. Some advertising is good, like the ones you need for fixing houses, helping kids learning, etc. But some are clearly out to get your money, and worse, your desire. And I guess these guys are the ones who pay big bucks. It's a tough choice when you don't have money, sink or swim, or do the right thing.

-RL-

Sticker Shock!

Math 101 Question: I was making copies at Kinko's, totaled 60 pages. How much does it cost?

Answer: Including tax the total is $57 (USD)!

Reaction: Denial! Confusion! More denial! I thought it was $5.7! Must be a computational error!

Explanation: I was using the color copier. It costs $0.89 per page. (No wonder the quality of the papers was soooo good!)

Outcome: I tried to talk to the store manager. He said he couldn't do anything about it. Perplexed and angry about myself, I called Jeanie and she urged me to go back to to talk to him again. I begged him to refund, return or even charge me $10 on this but $57. And finally, he agreed to refund the whole amount. "Just don't do it again", he said. Thank God! The manager even allowed me to keep the copies and not charged me anything.

Lesson: Watch before you make copies at Kinko's. The nice machine out in the middle has a price tag. Bring a calculator if you need to, no matter how simple the math is.

I am free - almost!

Yesterday was the day that I turned in the results for the difficult "Big D" project. I felt so free and elated that I felt like a new man! To enjoy my newfound (even though shortlived) burden-free moment, I chose to listen to some Jackie Cheung's classic while cleaning my email inbox and desk. The songs brought back so much memories back in the early 80's, when Jackie first recorded classics such as "Smile Again Maria". I was so excited and engrossed in the songs that I couldn't help "lip syncing" the songs right in the office.

If you followed my blog you can see why I was happy when this project is done. (It actually hasn't been finished completely yet but I am pretty sure the results are 99% completed.) It has been long and full of frustrations, and also fluctuations. Just before I turned in my results last Thursday 4 pm, I discovered a wrong calculation which turned out to be deadly. In less than 10 keystrokes, my 7.6% savings became 25% cost increase! And worse, I had no idea what led to it. Either the data are completely trash or my design methodology is dead wrong. And I was afraid the latter was true after spending 4 hrs and found nothing wrong with the data. At one point, I was contemplating the possible reaction from my client if I, after spending hundreds of hours of analysis, told them nothing but all they were doing was great and there's nothing I could improve...and by the way, here is a bill of $xx,0000! I can imagine Donald Trump's favorite line popping up: you are FIRED!

As far as I can remember, never in my career I felt so clueless and discouraged on a single project. Usually I could find out what's wrong at least. So I consulted with my boss and we discovered some assumptions that should be adjusted. And after a long hard day of searching and recalculating, a modest 0.8% savings showed up. Not a lot, but better than any cost increase! That's 5 pm Friday. I joked with my colleague, saying that I probably shouldn't mess with the numbers again, lest the savings could be vaporized again.

I had a pretty good Saturday spending time with my family and Ching Yu, his son and his friend Matt. Ching Yu was visiting his son Benji who's studying at CCAD. We had a good and relaxing time. We stayed up late until 1.30 am on Saturday nite talking everything from American culture to Christian ethics. It was fun.

On Sunday I started working at noon after going to church. Man, I did not stop until 11.15 pm. I can count with 1 hand how many times I got up from my seat. And all that probably took 15 min total. I was not anticipating this. The reason is that I found more mistakes that turned the savings into the negative territory again. That forced me to keep digging into the details. And after 11 hrs of hard work (and thank Jesus), I pedaled the savings back up to 0.7%. And I called it quit, after finishing up the presentation materials.

We had an initial review this morning. The results looked fine to the client. There were only a couple easy things to change (keeping my fingers crossed). And we hope to wrap all up within a week. Thank God! This project has been a challenge to me in all fronts - technically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually and especially mentally. At many occasions, my mind couldn't handle the thought of going on. Because of God's grace, I could continue. I really can't wait to have it all done.

Funny Sign

Don't know which country will spend tax payers' money on this:

Difficult Project

Isaiah 2 (NLT)

11The day is coming when your pride will be brought low and the LORD alone will be exalted. 12In that day the LORD Almighty will punish the proud, bringing them down to the dust. 13He will cut down the tall cedars of Lebanon and the mighty oaks of Bashan. 14He will level the high mountains and hills. 15He will break down every high tower and wall. 16He will destroy the great trading ships and all the small boats in the harbor. 17The arrogance of all people will be brought low. Their pride will lie in the dust. The LORD alone will be exalted! 18Idols will be utterly abolished and destroyed.

Work has been hard these few weeks. I have so many problems with my project: the data are messy; I made many mistakes; the person who helped me also made many mistakes. It's been a difficult project all along. But nothing is worse than the final 10% which is so hard to finish. Everytime I think I made a step closer to the finish line, I discovered more problems that would push it 3 steps farther away. In the past month, I almost have given up hope on finishing it.

Yesterday I had another desparate encounter with this project. It really brought me to my knees and asked Jesus for help. And He did! Within an afternoon I could slowly put the pieces together. And I left my work quite happily afterwards.

When I read the passage this morning relating to the arrogance of human in their endeavor and projects, I realized that I didn't give thanks to Jesus after He helped me. When I searched deep into my heart for the reason of not giving thanks, I was quite shocked to find that I basically believe I can do it myself: God is just a shortcut to my solution but if I endure I will find the solution myself. I subtly ignored God's providence and credited myself indeed. That's arrogance and haughtiness of men, which will be brought low along with their projects on the day of judgment.

Sometimes I really don't know why I work. What are the purposes? I guess learning these lessons is part of them. But after a while it's hard to maintain the focus of doing it undo the Lord, especially when we become good at work. Instead, we inject pride and selfishness into the core of our work. I am thankful that God brought it to my attention once again.

-RL-

Process

I think this is the journey that God wants me to go through:

My will be done => Thy will be done => Thy will be done and be glad in it.

Phillippians 4:11-13

-RL-

My prayer

Psalm 143

7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.

10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

Feed this child

Poor Evan. Is somebody willing to give $10/month to feed this little child?

Father-Son Camp

Ethan and I went to the Father-Son camp over the weekend organized by our church. We had a lot of fun. We played ga ga, water balloons, pools; we sat around a bonfire and made s'mores. We also tried to spend sometime walking and talking. But kids are kids. They just want to have fun.

Looking at the picture, do you think they grow up too fast?

Smart Breakfast

I wonder what I would have become if I was a smarter student by eating better breakfast....

A Better Breakfast Can Boost A Child's Brain Power

More waiting

I think half of my life is spent on waiting.

Yesterday I got in touched with the VP/GM of the international division. He explained to me why the recruiting process is being delayed. Basically his division is likely to change the reporting structure, reporting to a new boss. If that happens, the president has to explain his vision and plan to his new boss. And if that goes ok, my position could continue. Looks like it will be another 2-3 months before I know whether my job will be ok'd.

Coincidentally, it was almost one year ago (9/15) that I got an email from the then VP Asia of Exel that DHL was going to buy us and the whole hiring process (which lasted for 6 weeks) were delayed. And I never heard anything back since then. I really don't understand what God is doing among all this. I just know he allows it to happen. It's hard to swallow another x weeks of waiting. But at least this is a lot more positive than any job applications I tried before. I just have to keep on waiting, and place my faith in God.

-RL-

Democracy in the Rough

I am always intrigued by little known facts/happenings around the world. Here is something about Congo in Africa.

Wide Angle . Democracy in the Rough | PBS

Still Waiting

It's been almost 4 months since I was approached with a potential job in Hong Kong. And it's been a month since my interviews. Things just go so slowly. Tasks that are done normally in weeks were done in months. Sometimes I wonder if the job is still there. May be you will say "forget it. The job is gone." But my gut tells me that it is still waiting for me.

Good that I am extremely busy at work...followed by a very busy summer with lots of visitors - my aunt, Joe/Yumi's family and Jeanie's sister and her husband. All these activities help shift my attention away from this job wait. Poor Jeanie, she has a lot harder time waiting for some news. She has been asking me status updates everyday. May be I should give her the direct line number to the president of the division. That should speed things up.

Anyway, this funny Ethan...he never fails to crack me up. (Phoebe took that pic with my cell phone and special effects.)